Shopping with my dad
How it is possible for others to achieve their dreams without having to put out a fight, or at least be challenged by some things? It is frustrating to see that almost everyone I know gets what they want or desire, without doing any effort. Whereas I, I have to fight for every little damn thing.
What’s wrong with me? Why my path is so filled with daily challenges that drain me, suck up all my energy and leave me so weak? Why is everything so bleak? No matter what I do, where I turn, there is always something going wrong. Is it me that attracts all this negativity, as if I am under a black cloud or something like that?
For as far as I know myself I never had a day where things went smoothly from morning till night. If somehow I had a moment of happiness, joy, or a breakthrough, it was shortly followed by a sad, bad, or even tragic event. It makes me wonder if there is God after all.
It`s hard to believe that a God, whoever that might be, would spend all his time playing with his creations, laying obstacles in their path, with the sole purpose of making them stronger and grateful for their strength. It's all fake if you ask me.
Who you are, what you think, what you do, can’t be predetermined by a superior creature with an agenda, whatever that might be. It does not make any sense at all. Science has always proven us wrong. Religion is nothing but a tool some use to understand what is going on. In most of the cases it is misused.
Today I had an interesting conversation with my father while we went around shopping for a telephony provider outaouais. Let's just say he is a believer and I am not. That would give you a hint about how our afternoon went on.
From the moment he saw me, he asked when the last time I had gone to church was. I did not bother to answer that question. Instead, I offered him a cup of his favorite French Vanilla coffee that I had taken from him before stopping at his house. According to him, all my failures are due to the fact that I stopped praying. He truly believes that all the negativity I am facing is because I lost my faith. He’s a charmer, isn’t he?